


fire, baby, fire, baby, love

by angryjane



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Dorian Gray is a Good Bro, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, I guess???, Lilith Is A Good Person, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Spoilers for Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018) Season 2, but not abused, nick is in hell, once tags FUCKING EXIST FOR THIS FANDOM, sabrina spellman is depressed, sorry babey, why are there no established tags for this fandom what the fuck, you work for them now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 11:27:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20446379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angryjane/pseuds/angryjane
Summary: In the aftermath of the Dark Lord's ascension, Sabrina mourns a loss.





	fire, baby, fire, baby, love

**Author's Note:**

> idk how to write angst also why the FUCK are there no tags for this fandom?? get on it, guys. 
> 
> sigh i guess i;ll just single-handedly have to sustain this fandom now oh no how tragic

_ We are high- I’m in love.  _

In a word, the last few weeks have been- empty, cold, hollow, all those things. She sits, alone in her room, avoiding calls from Roz, dodging Harvey’s pitying visits, ignoring Theo’s attempts to smooth things down. She misses them all, dearly, especially Harvey, but not like she misses  _ him _ . 

Everywhere she looks, all she sees is Nick; that’s the front porch he kissed her on, that’s the tree stump he sat on to watch her pace and ramble about “petty mortal business” for hours at a time, this is where he told her he thought he might love her, but he wasn’t yet sure; this was where Sabrina realized she loved him back. 

Aunt Hilda’s been slipping cookies and get-well-soon potions through the crack of the door, but it’s done nothing to ease a broken heart. 

_ We are fine- feeling grown up _

On her tenth birthday, her Aunties had given her a small puppet, made of wood and string, hat she’d held close to her chest, stroking it’s head of precious hair-- a lock of her other’s, a lock of her father’s. It was worn down to the bone, now, the hair having fallen and the string having unravelled. THis is how she felt, now: unravelled, loosened, battered. She dropped the doll down th antique garbage chute after the portrait of her father holding her pregnant mother. Their heads bowed together, eyes trained on what was to be Sabrina soon; the glass of the frame was cracked down the middle in a jagged line, pulling her parents apart. 

_ And I'm in love _

_ And I'm crashing in your arms _

And tonight found her in Dorian’s bar, huddled over a half-downed glass of whiskey. Dorian watched her through the night with tired, cautious eyes: this was not like her. Ambrose had followed her down here, out of worry or boredom, she wasn’t sure, and had disappeared an hour ago with three warlocks into some dark hallway. It was well past the witching hour, and Dorian’s was almost empty, only her, Grey himself, and a dozing witch from the academy in one corner, collapsed into an overstuffed armchair, familiar on her chest, watching with beady eyes. 

Corian leaned against the bar opposite her, silently wiping a glass.

They stayed that way, a moment, not speaking, until Dorian sighed, setting one glass down to reach for another. 

“I loved him.” Sabrina whispered, after the  _ chink _ of the glass on worn wood had echoed out of the clouding space between them, “And he’s… it’s because of me.”

“It is.” Dorian agreed, not unkindly. He had a way of speaking which did not accuse, which did nothing but state the facts. It was oddly reassuring, and Sabrina took another hearty sip from her glass. This’d be her fourth, and she was feeling it. Dorian’s face blurred. 

_ You ride in the sky tonight _

_ East side is a paradise of you _

_ You, you _

This was unlike her-- drinking her sorrows away in an empty bar. That was more Nick’s style. 

Fitting, then. 

She let her glass hit the table; “Another.”

“Are you sure that’s advisable, Sabrina?” Again, it is not unkind, but it still stings a little through her haze. 

“Shut up, Dorian. You wouldn’t have questioned it if I were Nick.”

“Fair enough.” He refilled her glass silently and leaned back on his haunches, dog-like, observing her. 

“I spoke to Lilith.” Dorian said after a beat. “She has a gift for you.”

“Another gift?” 

He shrugged, “Do you want it now, or later?”

Sabrina paused, pursing her lips and swirling the dregs of her whiskey. She should be logical about this, she knew-- but her inhibitions had fled her an hour and two whiskeys ago and she was getting ants, sulking at the empty bar, only a lone artist for company, and a rude one at that. She didn’t even know if she could really trust Lilith-- she  _ was _ the Queen of Hell, after all. 

But they’d parted more or less on good terms, and Sabrina almost missed her elder witch. No matter what bullshit she’d dragged Sabrina through, she was still a mentor to the girl. 

“Now.” Sitting up straighter, Sabrina set her shoulders and mind decisively. “What is it?”   
“Sabrina…” The barkeep looked almost concerned, “Are you sure? You might want to be sober for this.”

“I am perfectly sober-” She began, but even as she said it the world spun slightly and her vision  swirled. Dorian cast her a dubious look, eyes raking critically down her features-- she looked like shit, she was sure of it-- then let out a sigh, raising one hand. 

“Ad mentem et spiritum patet ex maiori,” He intoned. She felt the effect off his spell immediately, the whiskey draining from her veins, the room pausing its tilt and whirl to stand still once again, her heart jumping in her chest. 

“Thanks.” She muttered.

“Anytime, love. Now-” He straightens his tie, all business, “Your gift. You must have made some impact on her, for Lilith to be bestowing such benevolence on you. 

“She and I were speaking, as old friends do, and she mentioned, quite enthusiastically, that she might have found a way to bind the Dark Lord’s spirit to another body for the briefest of moments-” Sabrina opened her mouth to jump in, but he held up one elegant hand and she snapped her mouth shut, leaning closer over the bar. “-And although poor Nicholas’s body would not be able to move from the gates, he might, in spirit, be able to pay you a short visit.”

“That’s-” Sabrina stopped, her throat clogging with emotion-- excitement, fear, desperation, relief. “That’s amazing, Dorian. How? When? Where?”

“Now, here, and in the fire.” He tilted his head at her. “Have you seen the mortal movies of Harry Potter? Sacrilegious, demonstrably false things they are, they got one thing right: fire has the power to bring souls together. You will stand in front of the fireplace, I will call upon Lilith with her spell, and she will perform the binding.”

“And then.. Then I can see him?”

“Yes, Sabrina. You can see him, but only briefly.” His eyebrows furrowed. “I am sorry.. I wish it could be more, but this is all we have for now.”

“It’s enough… it has to be.”

_ Don't worry baby don't you cry _

_ As long as we keep getting high _

_ Keep burning like we're never gonna die _

Lilith-- in her truest form-- was beautiful: her eyes of bone, her teeth of stone, her grey skin cracking and peeling beneath the flames. She shone like a beacon, sitting on a throne of skulls as she gazed through the fire at Sabrina. 

Her voice is warm as the pale blue flames that illuminate her when she asks, “Are you ready, dear?”

“Yes.” It comes out as a whisper, soft and yearning, and there are tears in her eyes as she crouches in front of the grand fireplace. The flames dim and sputter out. 

“I’ll leave you. You have only three minutes.” Dorian tells her softly, one hand trailing down to pat her head in a brotherly gesture, “Don’t waste it.”

“Thank you, Dorian.” She says again, and he smiles wanly before disappearing into a room behind the bar. The door creaks shut behind him and hinges with a bang, and it is only Sabrina and the empty fireplace for a moment. She holds her breath, counting to thirteen.

With a roar, the flames rear back to life, green and lively-- Nick has always been green to her. 

And there he is, leaning through the fireplace the tiniest bit, ever-present smirk still in place as if he never left, but there’s pain in his eyes as they water. A tense moment passes in silence, and then Sabrina lets out the softed of sobs, frame shaking. 

“Sabrina,” Nick breathes. She reaches a hand out as if to stroke his wan face, but the flames lick up her fingers and leave unholy, swirling burns where they touch; she recoils. 

Nick lets out a humorless chuckle, head bowing. “Careful, Spellman. Don’t want you hurt any more over me than you’ve already been.” It lacks its normal sarcastic edge, and his eyes are drooping and tired when he goes on, “I’m… I’m so sorry, Sabrina. For everything. And I just… Satan, I miss you. I miss you so much. It’s…” A real chuckle this time, “It’s Hell down there.” 

She laughs, her nose running and her cheeks red and streaked in silent tears. A sniffle. “I mean, you’re containing Satan himself from bringing about the apocalypse.. It’s not gonna be a beach house, Nick.” 

He smiles, and she wants to kiss him more than she ever has before. SHe digs her fingers into the soft flesh of her thighs, eyes still glued to him, roving over his face. His cheeks are hollowed, his eyes bagged; he shines with sweat like he’s made of starlight.

“Are you.. Are you okay down there? Honestly?”

He nods, and he’s lying. She knows it. 

“Good.” She says anyway, and her throat is closing up. Her eyelids slip closed as she takes a shuddering breath, trying to be strong for him. “Nick I-”

But when she opens her eyes, the fireplace is bare. A piece of driftwood crackles and sputters out.

“-I love you.” 

Sabrina sobs, alone. 

  
  


_ Fire baby, fire baby, love _

_ Fire baby, fire baby, love _

**Author's Note:**

> wanna talk to me? wanna know intimate secrets? wanna face god and walk backwards into hell? then come [ join the discord. ](https://discord.gg/zPs2SEK)


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